Are Adoption and Surrogacy Feminist?

Joy's post over at Joy's Division has me really thinking today.  I had commented on Joy's blog that her experience on another blog was the first time I had ever heard of someone defending adoption and surrogacy under the concept of feminism.  I'm thinking now that this isn't exactly true, I have, in a way, heard at least adoption defended with allegedly "feministic" arguments.  A few months ago I, along with several others, wrote emails and letters to a feminist organization who was opposing Adoptee Rights under the claim that mothers were promised anonymity through the amending and sealing of records.  I even tried appealing to one of the organization's representatives in an hour-long conversation over the phone.  Their stance was appaulling, not only because they were in opposition to us but because their opposition was based on not being aware of adoption laws and policies and adoption and mother's rights in history.  Promised secrecy?  It was more like having secrecy forced upon them: adoptees and mothers alike.

Both adoption and surrogacy can involve ethical issues such as the commodification of children and of women's bodies.  Many adoption policies and practices in the United States are absolutely antiquated and outdated.  Adoption has a horrendously unethical history it has yet to offer an apology for and yet to declare an ethical plan for the present and future.  In the United States, we still haven't figured out how to eliminate secrecy from these institutions or be truthful on birth documents, let a lone give these individuals equal access to truth that the rest of society receives about themselves.  Women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy may still have trouble finding resources to parent, finding employment and higher education that has hours conducive to the schedules of caregivers, and finding affordable child care; adoption is hailed as the solution to this.  Instead of providing women with equality and seeking to address the roadblocks that cause women to have to choose between parenting and poverty, society suggests surrendering to adoption while these societal problems still persist.  Still, in this country, the losses of these individual, both the mothers and children, are still some of the most misunderstood, diminished, and dismissed losses...ever.

Because I am an Adult Adoptee and Feminist, it is a stretch for me to perceive how adoption (in this context, infant adoption) and surrogacy are feministic.  I suppose people may view it as one woman getting the chance to parent while another woman has the opportunity to make the decision as to whether or not she wants to parent or would like to help someone else become a parent. 

But what about the third party?  The individual born/adopted, I mean.  Is this yet another failure to incorporate everyone whom these institutions impact?  I'll say here as I told to the feminist organization that had opposed Adoptee Rights:

"do I really need to remind a feminist organization that supports the rights of women that I AM A WOMAN TOO?"

The label "adoptee" doesn't legally nor socially allow me to grow up past the "child" label; now I'm not allowed to be viewed as a woman either?  Adopted women in the United States often do not have access to medical history to make informed health care decisions for themselves and their descendants with their health care practitioners.  They are unequal citizens under the law and are denied the Basic Human Right of knowledge of Original Identity and the equal right of access to factual birth documentation.  They and their descendants lack geneological continuity and knowledge of their origins and ancestry.  They live a different life than 98% of society; experiencing nature and nurture separately (and sometimes not having access to their natural roots at all) and it's an unacknowledged, diminished, and dismissed loss.  I am sure the donor conceived individuals who read my blog could chime in.  Since I was neither donor conceived nor born by surrogacy; I will not attempt to speak for them.

Feminism seeks equality for women: ALL women.  It should care about the reasons why women surrender babies to adoption and seek to address their needs.  It should not condone the continued government-approved secrecy and shame prescribed to one group of women (surrending others) through amending and sealing of birth documents.  It should care about the women who were once those babies surrendered to adoption and defend their Civil and Basic Human Rights.  It should support the right of adoptees, about half of which are women, to be equal under the law.  It needs to stop forgetting that many adoptees are women too.

"Feminists have been quick to support the right of both adoptees and birth mothers to search [Wegar refers to "Adoptee Rights" as the "Search Movement."], pointing out the experience of pregnancy and birth and perpetuated patriarchal control over women's sexuality.  In a partiarchal society, failure to fulfill social normal and ideals of motherhood has traditionally been regarded as a primary indicator of a woman's moral irresponsibility and social ineptitude, and women who have been categorized as bad or unfit mothers have been punitively affected by adoption polices" (Wegar, 1997, p. 124).

Where is this support and understanding now?  The lack of understanding of the rights and needs of the forgotten about women in adoption, and the issues and stereotypes they face, reminds me of Claud from Musing of the Lame's shirt at the Adoptee Rights Demonstration.  Many individuals impacted by adoption marched for the rights of Adult Adoptees to have their Original Birth Certificate:

(the wording on the shirt)

"so not a crack wh*re,

not just a birth mother,

not a family building angel,

nor a saint,

not a sefless strong girl either either."

"Just a mother missing her child.

Adoption separates mothers and children,

no one asks for an eternity of this."

Have groups that claim to speak for mothers have any idea the real issues and stereotypes surrendering mother's face? Have they even asked?  Groups that claim to speak for First Mothers and adoptees, whether they are feminist groups or not, instead of listening to mothers and adoptees and giving them the platform to speak, are only continuing the pattern of disenfranchisment and disempowerment. 

Ignoring the voices, rights, and needs of surrendering mothers and women adoptees is not feminism.

*obviously, quite a few men are also impacted by these institutions, but the theme today is feminism hence the exclusive mention of women.

ps. Claudia says her shirt is available on cafepress.com