Epic Linkage Saturday

Welcome to another edition of Epic Linkage Saturday. Per usual, I don't always agree with everything that everyone I link to says. Just some food for thought from the blogs I was able to browse this week. Please post your own links in the comments section and let everyone know what you've been reading and writing about this week (some of these are from Saturday that were published after I had already done my Saturday Linkage post and I wanted to add them to this week anyway).


Adult Adoptees


"Reunion: What you Need to Know About Rejection" by Trace A. Demeyer
"Perhaps one of the best analysis of the “reunion of adoptee and birthparent” I have found is called The Second Rejection, Part 1 and 2 by Marcy Wineman Axness (available on the website: www.reunite.com/adoption-records/the-second-rejection.html)......"


"Little Things" at Marginal Perspectives
"I have been feeling tender of late, partially because it breaks my heart to hear of adoptees being frozen out by their natural families, and partially because I am back to the dangerous job of hunting my own doubts about my nfamily, the ones that hide in the shadows like wolves. Are they shadows? Are they real?"


"Alone.Abused.Adopted" at iAdoptee
"I'm guessing that this line of thought separates abused adopted children from abused non-adopted children. The "what if" or "if only" scenarios actually exist. Abused adoptees don't have to imagine a prince on a steed charging in to save us. We just have to ponder our origins."


"But She LOOKS Korean" at Yoon's Blur
"Something in me wants to be identified with neither one. I do not want to be identified as the Korean. I do not want to be identified as the American. Yet, inevitably, I demonstrate characteristics of both."


"Adoption Prosthesis" at Once Was Von
"American adoption is blighted by the profit motive, by greed, lack of ethics and credibility and for some involves a sense of entitlement.When we see adopters standing with adoptees to press for change, equality and rights, there will be big progess.Young adoptees grow into adult adoptees without rights after all!"


"Crumbs" at Words of Weary Memories that I Can Always See
"Biology matters to everyone but us. Familial love and loyalty apply to everyone but us. It is natural for a mother to love her child- unless you’re adopted. Then you should just shutup and take whatever crumbs your natural family throws your way.”


"I Am Doll Parts" at Joy's Division
"Watching that phenom makes me feel commodified in a way I can’t possibly explain to those outside of the charmed circle. The disregard that we get to be a witness to, the emotional baggage that our mothers are supported for not being motherly, the absolute cruelty that even other adoptees will defend because it is so accepted that adoptees are haflings and not as important as other human children."


"Insert Bad Movie Title Here" at Insert Bad Movie Title Here
"Someone posted a blog about turning into their mother a while back and it's something I've been thinking a lot about lately. It’s a common thought that women turn into their mothers. I’ve heard guys say it all the time, if you want to know how a woman turns out, look at their mother. I’ve heard my female friends say that the older they get, the more like their mother they become. Yet a fear of mine has always been: which mother will I turn into?"


"Learning About Heritage" at Warrior Princess Diaries, Adult Adoptee and Adoptive Mom
"Still, it's a risk. I imagine walking in and hearing a gasp because I look just like...well...someone (surely I must look someone, mustn't I?); or receiving an angry stare because I dared to show up there; or sitting alone, a stranger among people who might have been mine. "


First Mothers


"Madonna's Malawi Charity Fails and Ethiopian Adoptions Shut Down to a Trickle... " at First Mother Forum
"Madonna says she plans to raise more money for her "Raising Malawi" project, and will use the money in other ways. Well, we have an idea. Let's start by saying it involves keeping more families intact. Now that's an idea."

"Another Visit" at Living in the Shadows
"Yeah, I also know there are supposed stories of 'successful' open adoptions however I doubt the success of these in truth given neither party is actually honest about how they really feel and are living behind a wall of lies. Ugh, I detest shallow fronts. I prefer to live my life more authentically so to go around smiling and pretending to be happy about something that has ripped my soul apart doesn't sit well with me."


"Why I Won't Write for your Adoption Agency Blog" at Chronicles of Munchkin Land
"Maybe someday, when ethical reform comes along (because it will) and agencies are forced to adhere to laws and codes of conduct, I’ll reconsider. Until then, the answer is no."

"God Won't Answer" at Adoption Truth
"I want them, or God, or somebody, to tell me why it is, after all my oldest son has gone through, that he still has to go through so much more. Why him? Why this amazing young man who never deserved anything that life has dealt out to him?"


Adoptive Mothers

"Subsidarity" at Adoption Talk
"So there you have it, one, two, three.  Biological family first, domestic adoption second, international adoption third.  The principle of subsidiarity."


"A Few Thoughts on Adoption" at Westhaven Kids
"But we need to always remember that the adoption was preceded by a great loss. Would we ever dream of telling an amputee that they are "better off" with their prosthesis than their real foot? Or that they should be "grateful" they lost their limb so they could have this "wonderful" prosthesis? Of course not!! Would we find it in anyway odd that they missed their limb or grieved its loss or were flat out angry about the lost of the limb? Of course not!! Let's offer the same support to adoptees and acknowledge the deep losses they have suffered in order to experience the prosthesis of adoption."


Foster Alumni


"Build Our Own Foster Family Tree" by Sunday Koffron
Sunday is looking for other foster alumni to share their views and experiences at her new blog.


Descendants of Adoptees


"Happily Ever After' in Adoption Reunion" at The Anywhere but Here Girl
"I have since learned that there is no preparing for it. Good, bad, beautiful or ugly, meeting people who created you, gave you your crooked smile and your warped sense of humor is never simple. To have strangers already living in your soul before you ever set eyes on them is unnatural and I don't think humanity was designed for it. I believe that the ties that bind a mother to her family often create a pull on the generations that follow. A longing to be attached and involved. To be Family."


Happy Saturday! Don't forget to post your links!

I try to include a lot of perspectives in the blogs I link to each week. Adult Adoptees, First Mothers, Adoptive Parents, Adoption Reform / Family Preservation blogs, Donor-Conceived Individuals, Foster Care Alumni and blogs about race, privilege, women's issues, and feminism. A category, or several, being absent from time to time doesn't mean I am not going to include that category in the future. It just means that I did not get to read as many blogs this week as I would have liked to.

Photo credit: Salvatore Vuono