A Quote From What I'm Reading: Lethal Secrets

This week I read "Lethal Secrets: the Psychology of Donor Insemination," authored by Annette Baran, M.S.W. and Reuben Pannor, M.S.W. and first published in 1989 (I have a more recent printing from 1993).  The Adoptee Rights and Adoption Reform community recently lost Baran almost a year ago.  Baran was a psychotherapist.  Pannor was the director of social work and research at the Vista Del Mar Child Care Service in Los Angeles, at the time.  I don't have any more recent information on Pannor.


I am spending this year attempting to read adoption-related books, trying for one a week with the ultimate goal of at least 25 read by the close of 2011.  Does "Lethal Secrets" count 'as an adoption book?  Without taking the focus away from the Donor Conceived individual, which is not my intent to do, yes, I think in a way it does count.  The authors were inspired to look into Donor Conception because of the shared issues between adoption and Donor Conception: namely, the secrecy (p. 54).  Two of the three authors who penned The Adoption Triangle: Sealed or Opened Records: How They Affect Adoptees, Birth Parents, and Adoptive Parents, which I read last week, penned "Lethal Secrets."  When reading this book as an Adult Adoptee, I can empathize with many things but at the same time, admit that I do not know what it is like to be Donor Conceived so I will say that I do not intend to portray that I know what it's like from the start.  From my experience, both Adult Adoptees and Donor Conceived individuals have been allies for each others rights, and I appreciate that.  And thus, reading this book is in part trying to further understand the issues of secrecy that permeate both institutions as well as understand the issues surrounding Donor Conception.


This book is based on a study done by the authors with the intent of discovering the psychology and emotions by those who have Donor Conceived sons and daughters, of the donors themselves, and of Donor Conceived individuals.  The title of the book was inspired by the authors' belief that secrecy in families and family relationships is damaging to those relationships and the individuals in the family.  The book is comprised of several stories from several perspectives of those interviewed for the study that the authors felt gave the best representation of all of the research subjects overall, with the author's conclusion at the end of each chapter.  The purpose was to give these individuals a voice, as they had not been included in previous literature and research.  The authors' position is not against Donor Conception, rather, they make suggestions to make it more ethical.  While I have my own opinions, I will reserve those and keep with the theme of the book, which has a parallel to adoption, where secrecy is involved and individuals are kept from knowing about their origins.  The authors point out that the donors are anonymous and Donor Conception itself is designed for the secret to be kept.

"We firmly believe that the practices of secrecy and anonymity must end and be replaced with open identification of the donor father and open knowledge of origins for the donor offspring.  The donor father is a real person, not a teaspoonful of sperm.  The donor offspring is a genetic product of two parents, with the right to know the truth.  The century-old practices of secrecy and anonymity have bred a complex set of problems within the fabric of the DI [Donor Insemination] family.  We are convinced that in all DI families, the need to maintain secrecy and anonymity has had an adverse effect upon all of the members" (Baran & Panor, "Lethal Secrets," 1989).

I never realized how many complex issues are involved in Donor Conception.  Even in families where the Donor Conceived individual is told of their conception, the fact remains that in anonymous conception, there is still a big secret involving information that the individual has a right to have.  One of the issues that stood out to me most was those who chose Donor Conception because they did not want to pass on genetic diseases to their offspring.  Yet, with the offspring's origins being anonymous, Donor Conceived individuals themselves have no genetic information to make their own decisions as adults in their health care likewise.  The authors concluded that the needs and perceptions of Donor Conceived individuals are not taken into account when Donor Insemination is being advised by health care practitioners and studied by the medical community (a product of secrecy, it takes away their voice).  Just as in The Adoption Triangle, the authors went through how the secrecy in Donor Conception is unhealthy for every person involved.  The secrecy impacts family relationships and the tension may be noticed by the donor offspring.  The donor fathers do not know how many children they have fathered or who those children are, and neither do their other family members.  The Donor Conceived individual does not have access or knowledge of the person who helped in their creation.  They are denied knowledge of their roots and origins.  The authors feel that secrecy and anonymity should be removed from Donor Conception in order to alleviate these problems and promote the rights of all involved.

"Universal human needs for genealogical and historical connections are the same for people everywhere, no matter how they are conceived or gestated."  -- Baran & Panor, "Lethal Secrets," 1989

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