Welcome to another edition of Epic Linkage Saturday. Per usual, I don't always agree with everything that everyone I link to says. Just some food for thought from the blogs I was able to browse this week. Please post your own links in the comments section and let everyone know what you've been reading and writing about this week (some of these are from Saturday that were published after I had already done my Saturday Linkage post and I wanted to add them to this week anyway).
I didn't get to read anything past Thursday in order for it to be included. Friday and Saturday were full of hanging out with family and one of my favorite adoptee friends.
Adult Adoptees
"Cats+Pigeons=?" at Once was Von
"It has been a busy time of year! This was my last biological relative, apart from my daughter, who I thought I could spend time with, be comfortable with and be honest with."
"Adoptees are Commodities" at Neither Here Nor There
"As an adult adoptee it truly feels like we are simply commodities hastened to fill the needs of those who want to build a family, instead of our feelings and rights being respected, as those who lose our original identities, names, mothers, families, heritage, and place. "
"Family Building" at iAdoptee
"I think it is completely unethical and morally repugnant that money is involved in adoption at all."
"Money, Money, Money..." at Life as Eri Knows It
"Here's a clue, there is no good time, no good age, no good way to tell a child how much they 'cost' you.
"How am I Feeling Today...hmmmm...." at Everyone Shut up but Me
"Something not uncommon between adoptees is to go around a circle (or on facebook) and declare what the bill of sale says you were bought for. 99% of us either have the bill of sale or our parents have told us the price."
"Glue" at Marginal Perspectives
"I think it's lovely that my father felt (and feels) nothing but complete happiness surrounding my adoption. That makes at least one of us. Why shouldn't he feel unadulterated happiness? But I don't want to burden him with the shadows of my own sadness."
"Emails Between Those 'Mal-Adjusted Adoptees'..." at The Adopted Ones Blog
You just won't believe what they were talking about! ;-)
"Adoption and Monies: an Adoptee Response. Sort of." by YoonSeon
I think people try to forget about the dollars side of it; push it to the back of their minds, because, afterall… they “just” want a family, right? So what should dollars matter? But the other side of that is that adoption is also run as a business. And business cares about dollars, else it wouldn’t exist. And I think that’s – ultimately – what makes me feel like nothing more than a commodity.
"The Peculiar Status of the Adoptee" at Words of Weary Memories I Can Always See
"We are the ones with no reference point, with no idea how the rest of the world functions within their families of origin. We just don't know how it feels to be a part of the family you were born into. And we will never know.. no reunion can fix that."
"My Original Family Would Have Felt Obligated to Reject me" at Exile of Xignan
"Again, even if my adoptive parents didn’t look at it as charity – if they looked at it as merely wanting to raise a child - ultimately, it comes back to “saving” a child."
First Mothers
(Untitled) at Finding Christopher, Finding Myself
"Open adoption is "sold" as better for those adopted as well as the natural families. But. Is it??"
"The Price of a Family" at Life of Mom....After Loss to Adoption! (a first mom and foster alumni)
"The price of a family. The idea that for some reason if you spend money on a person that they belong to you. That somehow it erases who they are. "
"The Fog Returns" at Adoption Truth
"You know, I think, over the last couple years, with my son adopted back and life going on as if he was never separated from us, I slipped back in to a mild form of the denial I lived with for so many years."
Adoptive Mothers
"A Solution for Teen Pregnancy" at Adoption Talk
"But don't we really think the solution for teen pregnancy is to prevent teens from becoming pregnant in the first place? We might disagree about how best to do that -- that whole abstinence v. birth control debate -- but we generally think avoiding teen pregnancy is a good thing."
"Dollars and Sense of Family Building" at Write Mind Open Heart
Readers/bloggers are asked to answer questions about money in birth/adoption/donor conception/surrogacy. This was not posted this week but I am adding it here as it is the reason behind some of the money-themed posts in blogland this week.
Donor Conceived Individuals
"An Unfriendly Call With Lenox Hill Hospital" at Connect It
"I am a pretty tough person but today I called Lenox Hill Hospital and for some reason I'm crying right now. I have been trying to get list of medical interns at the hospital from 1980 to 1981 for a while and have had none of my emails answered......."
"I Got my DNA Set on You" at Confessions of a Cryokid
"My first reaction to this is the ironic juxtaposition of our biological fathers' sperm (genetic material used to create a new life) contained in small vials to be removed indefinitely from its roots, and our spit (also genetic material, that is it contains our DNA) contained in small vials with a hope to be reconnected to those very same roots...that were both unceremoniously disposed of in what were likely similar 1mL vials."
"Reply to Dollars and Sense of Family Building" at Donated Generation
"At the heart of the matter it is the commodification of human life. Whereby you are able to purchase whatever you want so long as you have the resources to do so."
Happy Saturday! Don't forget to post your links!
I try to include a lot of perspectives in the blogs I link to each week. Adult Adoptees, First Mothers, Adoptive Parents, Adoption Reform / Family Preservation blogs, Donor-Conceived Individuals, Foster Care Alumni and blogs about race, privilege, women's issues, and feminism. A category, or several, being absent from time to time doesn't mean I am not going to include that category in the future. It just means that I did not get to read as many blogs this week as I would have liked to.
