I recently learned that several celebrities have had Cabbage Patch dolls made in their likeness to be auctioned off on eBay. Proceeds will go to support the Children's Action Network in raising awareness about the 500,000 children in foster care and the 100,000 children legally cleared for adoption. One celebrity involved is the actress, Katherine Heigl.Heigl was quoted as saying:
"I’m excited to be part of this auction to raise money and awareness for foster children. Adoption is a cause very close to my heart as I have an adopted older sister and an adopted daughter. This auction is important to show the world how many adoptable kids are in great need for stable and loving homes."Heigl, as you may know, recently adopted a daughter from South Korea. Heigl also plays the role of "Izzie Stephens," a character who is a mother who surrendered a child to adoption, on the hit TV series "Grey's Anatomy."
I had a Cabbage Patch doll as a little girl. I was told that if I didn't like her name, I could send away for a new birth certificate with a name I wanted on it. I was confused. Why would I want to change her name? Purchasers of Cabbage Patch dolls receive official adoption papers and birth certificates that can be altered much like adoptees' birth certificates are altered. It may be fun to do this when it comes to purchasing a doll but it's not so funny to adoptees, real human beings--not dolls, who have been adopted, who have been trying for the past seventy years to have this practice changed based on human rights injustices involved. Mimickery of what happens to the records of real people as a part of a marketing scheme to sell dolls--nope, not cute and definitely not funny.
Among the signs carried at the 2009 Philadelphia Adoptee Rights Protest outside of the NCSL's annual convention were signs that said "I'm just another Cabbage Patch doll." Some activists have even taken their childhood doll's "birth certificates" to present testimony and speak with lawmakers to show just how silly this policy is. It's not cute and it's not funny. Many adoptees feel very slighted that something they disagree with so much has been turned into fun and games when it comes to selling "adopted" dolls.
I also feel a bit taken aback that Heigl referenced her family members in terms of explaining adoption as a "cause" (and I'm just going to assume that it's OK with her sister for her to be using her adoptedness as a topic in conversations because this is not the first time Heigl has talked about her sister being adopted in an interview). Because yes, it makes a difference when people, especially those involved in adoption, refer to us in that context. I am not someone who was "rescued" by my parents. I am not their "charity project." They adopted me because they wanted to be parents and I needed a family to care for me, not because they needed another pin to wear to Sunday school. I am their real daughter. And because I'm adopted, I have to remind people of that. So yes, it matters when adoption is portrayed as a charity. Because I shouldn't have to remind people that I'm not a charity project.
Do you think auctioning Cabbage Patch dolls to raise money for an adoption-related campaign is in poor taste?
I find the issue of language in adoption fascinating and this post has raised my hackles a little bit. Heigl is an adoptive mother and a sister of an adopted person. Surely she has just as much right and license to use language in the way that she sees fit about her own experiences with adoption? I understand the criticisms levelled at people, espeically high profile people, who make foolish or ignorant comments and have little exposure to adoption, but this is not the case with Heigl.
ReplyDeleteAs a side note, Heigl adopted her daughter from South Korea, not China.
I haven't developed an opinion about whether Cabbage Patch Doll fundraisers are in good taste or not, but I'm glad to see Heigl doing her bit to support the creation of families through adoption, like she did her own.
Honestly, I am not sure how to take it. First, charity case - foster children are not "charity cases" - FYI. They are, however, children taken from their parents (of all socio-economic stations) for a variety of reasons... so, please, the implication is clear and definitely insulting to a Foster Care Alumni - ME.
ReplyDeleteSecond, of course you are your parents "real" daughter - and you are your mother's "real" daughter as well. Those are the facts of life.
As for Heigl - I feel sorry for her. She assumes a lot and is hurtful. I wonder if she actually is that stupid. But then, she is like most people that are famous - she is the center and the rest of us are her worshipers.
I never did like cabbage patch dolls - they always struck me as wrong somehow... like the world was sticking a knife in all adoptees and their mothers.....
I certainly do think it's tastless, tacky and very cheap, also wrong and insensitive, not amusing and very revealing about the people who are endorsing it.
ReplyDeleteNever have been a fan of the cabbage patch dolls.
ReplyDeleteI do get the same "ick" factor with the term "cause" as it does come off as "charity case" and "rescue" when used to promote adoption.
I'm also curious on the need to raise funds for foster care adoptions. It does not ring true to me.
As far as Heigl's adoption experience - it does not give her the right to choose the language or speak about her sisters adoption. To me it comes off the same as "I know a friend whose cousin married an adoptee who is just fine with being adopted" statements.
Jess,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the correction, I will fix the blog entry.
And no, I do not think that someone connected to adoption by either adopting or having an adopted sister has just as much right to talk about adoptees and adoption however they feel. I, as an adoptee, have to live the reality that everyone else sets up for me with the language that they choose. In this instance, she wasn’t just referring to adoption, she was referring to real, actual people who live adoption themselves—this is borderline ventriloquism. If I have a friend of family member of color, or a family member with a disability, or family member who is gay—does that give me license to use whatever language about those communities I want and speak about them however I want to? Absolutely not. I hold no different standard for the adoptee community.
What someone says as a high-profile celebrity does make a difference because more people will hear and absorb what she has to say. Please don’t mistake this for venting my feelings on a celebrity whom I know will likely never read this and never respond—I correct negative language about adoptees when I hear it in my day-to-day life with regular, every day people, when it is called for, as well.
And thank you everyone for your comments. I forgot to say that in my previous comment :-)
ReplyDeleteThe Adopted Ones,
You make an excellent point. I will have to see if I can find out more about what the funds for the auction intend to go towards. Adoption from foster care in many cases is absolutely free. I'm wondering if the funds will be raised for advocacy, or to better help the majority of children in foster care who aren't cleared for adoption to be reunited with their first families by better equipping those families with resources and education?
--Which, in that case, it's not about "adoption" being a cause. It's about helping foster care complete its intended purpose--to keep families in-tact. Separating families and adopting children into a new family is a last resort. It should not be promoted as foster care's "cause" or primary focus. I support the adoption of children from foster care but I do always make the distinction that I am referring to those legally cleared for adoption when I do so.
(ps. I am not intentionally trying to sound grumpy. I should know better than to check in with my blog before the coffee stops brewing lol).
ReplyDeleteBravo Amanda... you don't sound "grumpy" at all.
ReplyDeleteCabage Patch Kids were icky right from the get go if - IF - you understood what infant adoption really means.
and, I want to click the "Like" botton for Lori's comment... :-)
ReplyDeleteYes, ditto to Lori too. Foster children are not charity cases either! :-)
ReplyDeleteI cringed when I read that she "recently adopted a daughter from South Korea." I guess she doesn't have the heart or the intelligence to adopt domestically in the U.S. Means one more child will sit in foster care/orphanges here in the states, and that korean child will be stripped of her culture and language. Ugh....sorry to be negative, it's just that kind of irks me.
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda
ReplyDeleteThanks for your response. I do understand and respect where you're coming from. Language in adoption is something I am still fine-tuning my thought on and I suspect it will be an iterative process!
Cheers, Jess
I think so often that people who have an adopted family member think that they understand everything about adoption. Forgetting that they are not adopted themselves and really do not understand the life and experiences of an adoptee at all.
ReplyDeleteOur daughter is adopted. She is our own, real daughter. We did not save her. I do have a story about adoption, it is my story. Her story is quite different. I cannot tell it, nor can I pose "appropriate language" for her story. The language, the tone, all parts of it are hers, and they can only be correct in her telling of it.
ReplyDeleteI admittedly have been snarky when asked "will you get another?" and said "yes, we are going right on over to the cabbage patch to pick one more" AYIYI. Some people are truly assheads.
I do not cotton to people turning me into a prop of their sainthood.
ReplyDeleteIt is cruel, it is mean. No being the actor who acts upon the victim does not make you a saint, nor give you the right to feel justified in exploiting the victims story.
I don't care if people think I am grumpy.
Sign me,
Grumpy