Comments on The Declassified Adoptee: What's the Right Answer When it Comes to Veronica ...

The Adoptive parents of Veronica have a Facebook p...

2012-01-29T20:58:26.238-05:00

The Adoptive parents of Veronica have a Facebook page set up where they are accepting monetary donations from people. Just search the name "Veronica Rose" It's disgusting :-(

Linda - that is exactly why there are people that ...

2012-01-16T18:28:21.694-05:00

Linda - that is exactly why there are people that do that sort of thing. Because courts have notoriously erred on the side of the "what's in the best interests of the child" even though the child's interests were not considered when they dragged them through court for months and years. Children can and do, as Amanda pointed out, remember as early as 2 years. I know I remember when the dog I grew up with was born - I was 2 at the time and my mother just had her latest baby or was getting ready to have her latest baby. I know my daughter remembers and I am certain she was told that I just gave up and didn't want to bother with her (comments she has made to me and others) - my daughter was almost 4.

To keep a child beyond reason is one of the biggest failings of foster care and contested adoptions - all in the best interests of the child. The child that is being more and more damaged as they drag their feet over their "proprietorial" feelings.

Can we say "slavery"?

Social workers and adoption agencies need to treat...

2012-01-15T18:50:46.826-05:00

Social workers and adoption agencies need to treat the natural father the same as the natural mother with the same wait period before an adoption is final. It should be a year but it's usually 6 months.
Personally, I hope adoption is abolished and replaced with guardianship.
Kinship adoption - placing the child with either of the parents families is always the best option - but as you can see - social workers won't change policies and these appeals drag out for years and where is their concern for the child? The time of appeals just adds more to the trauma and confusion for the adoptee to deal with later...
Amanda, you can submit op-eds to the New York Times editor anytime. It's time you get national coverage!

And there is also the hypocrisy of it all. The PAP...

2012-01-15T14:57:04.523-05:00

And there is also the hypocrisy of it all.
The PAP's claim they received no support from the bio dad but in reality it seems that they rejected all gifts over the years. They are upset that there was no transition period but for the last two years they refused to let this man have a single visit with his child. They are upset that he is not letting them talk to the baby enough but they refused to take any of his calls when she was in their possession.
This all could have been handled very differently than it was. In an ideal world, the minute the bio dad filed for custody, the PAP's and bio mom should have been saying: Wow, this guy wants to be in this little girl's life and there is a possibility he could win, maybe we should extend a little olive branch just in case. If you want kindness, you should give kindness.
This didn't happen.
If these people really were out for Veronica's best interest, they would have behaved better starting when she was four months old.
The only one now who is really suffering is this innocent little girl who is caught in the middle.

You're right, four months is pretty reasonable...

2012-01-15T13:18:22.489-05:00

You're right, four months is pretty reasonable--especially if he did not have all of his information straight about how to assert his parental rights. Decades ago, laws would not even allow parents to place within six months and there were even mandatory breast feeding laws. This is because there was no demand for adoption and no one to care for abandoned kids. They wanted to encourage parents to bond with their kids so they would care for them and the kids wouldn't become a state problem.

Now that there's a demand for babies, however, they've shortened that time frame, in some cases to 24 hours after birth, to appease those who want to adopt.

Neither instance then or now is about what's best for the child but about what's most convenient and lucrative for the "haves" and society. What a shame.

You're right, if the adoption is not legal the...

2012-01-15T13:15:18.984-05:00

You're right, if the adoption is not legal then they're not the adoptive parents. I think media articles say "adoptive parents" to apply the adoption taboo. If adoption wasn't mentioned I think people would be able to think more clearly and apply some common sense here.

Excellent point.

I can't believe people are painting ICWA as an...

2012-01-15T13:14:21.407-05:00

I can't believe people are painting ICWA as an old, irrelevant law. What a shame.

Excellent observation. Adoption separation isn...

2012-01-15T13:13:25.226-05:00

Excellent observation. Adoption separation isn't hard on kids....just every other separation, right? *sigh*

Thank you! :-)

2012-01-15T13:12:49.874-05:00

Thank you! :-)

The "no one will want to adopt...." is w...

2012-01-15T13:11:35.806-05:00

The "no one will want to adopt...." is what people seem to use to battle every kind of reform. Want adoptees to have their records "oh, but parents who don't want their kids to know their origins won't adopt then." Want to make open adoptions legally enforceable? "oh, but parents who don't want to deal with 'birth parents' won't adopt then." So on and so forth.

It's like we have to throw ever decent measure under the bus just to appease the few people that want to be able to adopt on their own terms instead of what's absolutely best for a child. If open adoption is best for a particular child and you're not willing to do what's best, why adopt in the first place?

*sigh*

Oy! The Facebook nonsense! My favorite quote so fa...

2012-01-15T13:01:43.887-05:00

Oy! The Facebook nonsense!
My favorite quote so far from an adoptive parent:
"if ICWA keeps being used this way, no one [entitled white people] will want to adopt Indian children anymore!"

Umm...yes, that's kind of the point.

I studied what happened to Native American children in college. It was horrific what was done to these children by society. ICWA is in place for a reason. It should never happen again. The quote from the adoptive parent is proof positive why ICWA is a very relevant law today.

This is an excellent, excellent piece. If only th...

2012-01-15T09:47:04.511-05:00

This is an excellent, excellent piece. If only the news media would access it!

The thing I find most interesting (and hypocritic...

2012-01-15T09:41:16.931-05:00

The thing I find most interesting (and hypocritical) is that the people who are most opposed to removing a child from the adoptive or perspective adoptive home are adoptive parents. They claim that it will be too traumatic for the child. However, it wasn't too traumatic for the child they adopted. Hmm...

For simple curiousity I watched the Fox News segme...

2012-01-15T09:36:30.315-05:00

For simple curiousity I watched the Fox News segment on this case. Speaking about a little known old law (ICWA) etc, but no clarification that adoption lawyers, agencies, etc are supposed to be experts in adoption law which is NOT silent on ICWA. The segment was disgusting on two fronts - a segment designed solely to put the adopting parents in the sunshine and roses done wrong category and to paint the father as bad. The second front was that it was an old law so it is time to change it because it does not apply now - it is still happening - the case you are speaking of points to that. NOT that I expected Fox to provide anything different, but some people base their views on that channel...which adds to the distinctive division everywhere.

Excellent post!

And, the custodial parents (not "adoptive&quo...

2012-01-15T01:08:48.333-05:00

And, the custodial parents (not "adoptive", because if the father did not consent, the child is NOT adopted) know that the more time the child is with them, the longer the process will drag on. The MOST arrogant and abusive part of the process, in my opinion. Take the Vaughn case- they knew from day one that the child's father wanted him, yet kept that child from his father for years.

It's the big , corrupted business of adoption- lawyers and agencies make money, and children suffer.

I saw a television interview regarding the Veronic...

2012-01-15T00:49:35.606-05:00

I saw a television interview regarding the Veronica Rose case. According to the information given, the biological father first tried to regain custody of his daughter when she was four months old! I believe this is a very reasonable time frame for any surrendering parent to reclaim their child. Father's are very important....just ask those of us who grew up without them! Their rights should be respected!