I feel how an individual or a group identifies themselves is important. The words you use to refer to a person or group can mean the difference between insult or giving respect. So what do I think people should call the various individuals connected to adoption?
My rule of thumb is that I always refer to someone and their loved ones in the way they wish and in the way they feel that they are most respected. While I am not a fan of the term "birth mother," this includes the "birth mother" term. It is not up to me to undermine someone elses' thought processes and the meaning they place on an event, and their role in it, in their lives. I refer to people how they would like to be referred to. After all, how can I expect that same courtesy if I don't extend it to others?
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