Monday, July 30, 2012

Adoption Synonymy: the Erasure of Adult Adoptees From Adoption

I will never forget the day my doctor said these words to me, "I didn't realize adult adoptees existed."  I had a meeting in Harrisburg about Adoptee Rights, and was suffering from one heck of a sinus infection.  After two weeks of toughing it out, I was still as oppressed by my illness as ever.  Begrudgingly, I visited my doctor to beg him for some miracle cure so that I would not be a ball of sniffles and yuck for my meeting with legislators.

When I explained to him my need for the quick visit, he responded with a puzzled look, "I didn't realize that adult adopteees existed."  He paused.  "I mean, obviously, they exist.  I've done many health exams and those sort of things for adoption applications for adoptive parents--obviously there are adoptees.  Obviously adoptees don't just disappear when they become adults.  I guess it never occurred to me that adoption would still be relevant to adults."

My reaction to his statement was one of fondness.  At least he was nice about it.  A lot of times people scrunch their faces and say things like, "you're 27 years old and you still identify with being adopted?"  Why?  Because "adopted" is synonymous with "child" and I am no longer a child.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Adult Adoptees go to Congress: the Recap You've Been Waiting for

Those of you with whom I tread this weary path know what I mean when I say that Adoption Reform is tiring and often frustrating work. In the short time that I have been engaged in the dialogue of change and ethics in adoption, I have seen the tired, the burn-out, and the frustration. I have felt these emotions myself. Essentially, we often have to battle so many misunderstandings people have about adoption, and the bias they may have against us adoptees who are in the "child" role of adoption, before we even get to present our causes. Every once and a while, things happen that let you know its all worth it. Sometimes it's correspondence from a legislator who understood your message. Each year for the Adoptee Rights Coalition, it's when people stop their cars in the middle of the street seeing our demonstration, and say in tears, "I'm adopted and no one knows I want my birth certificate. Can I please have one of your papers?"  Yesterday's trip to Congress with some legendary adoptees, where we met with incredible people, was one of those experiences for me. So many of you asked for a recap. Here you go.

Friday, July 20, 2012

D.C. Bound & Ready for Sheer Adoptee Awesome-ness

On the 27th, I will be headed to Washington D.C. for the privilege of meeting with some legendary adult adoptees and the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.  We plan to bring some adoptee issues to the attention of Congressional staff, and establish an on-going dialogue for future meetings.  

Of course, I can't go to this meeting armed without my papers, facts, statistics and all other necessary tools to share good information about Adoptee Rights.  I also indulged myself a little bit......

Thursday, July 19, 2012

(Guest Post) Motherhood: Day 1

Guest Post by, Laura Dennis

Even before I was completely sewn back together, I held my newborn. In those very first moments of hormones and love and crying baby, I knew with my entire being that I could not, would not, ever give her up. How could anyone give up such a precious, perfect little girl? How very devastated would I be if I had to give away this little person who I'd just made, who was mine, all mine.

I tried to push those terrifying thoughts out of my head. Today was a day for joy, after all. But that act of giving away someone whom you'd carried with you for nine months, who was a part of you right down to a cellular level, it was mystifying and horrifying.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Untold Nativity of a Blog Post

Jack thinks he helped me
write this blog post.

If you're not a blogger, have you ever wondered what goes into the making of a blog post?  For the first time, I share my secrets.  Do you blog?  Share your secrets with us too.

Friday, July 13, 2012

My Adoptive Name: is it Prophetic Etymology?

I am apologizing in advance because this blog entry has scarcely anything to do with its title.  I was reading through my last post where I noted that my adoptive surname appears oddly similar to an Old French word that means "to transfer" or "to make a copy."  When reading this, I couldn't help but comment to myself that the etymology of the name seemed prophetic.  I'm adopted and my last name means "to transfer" (actually, the OED says "to be transferred")--I mean, come on.  Furthermore, who better for a last name that means "to copy" to go to than someone who grew up to gripe about the incorrect copy made of her birth certificate?  I asked myself if it could be prophetic.  I decided the answer is "no."  The title of the post gets to stay though, because it is awesome.

Friday, July 6, 2012

My Review of the "Adoptees as Parents" Upcoming Anthology

Photo credit: worradmu
I just finished reading the manuscript for the ”Adoptees as Parents” anthology which I used my incredible powers of persuasion to get my hands on (translation: Kevin asked me to review it and I said “yes”).  As you might already know, Land of Gazillion Adoptees has partnered with CQT media to bring you an anthology of essays written by prolific individuals from the adoptee community.  These are my impressions.

The pieces that make up the ”Adoptees as Parents” anthology come from the minds of adult adoptees with a variety of impressive backgrounds. Several of the authors have a multi-dimensional view of adoption through numerous adoption connections, whether by having adopted siblings or adopted children, working professionally with the adoption community, or researching and writing about adoption. Themes that emerge from these combined essays include issues of race, gender, sexual orientation, domestic and international adoption, foster care, identity, attachment, belonging, trauma, addiction, genetic inheritance, and family systems–to name just a the rest at Land of Gazillion Adoptees