Showing posts from July, 2015

"Mommy, Which Mom is Your Real Mom?" When my Biological Children Ask my Adoptee Childhood Questions

Recently, my elementary schooler caught me off-guard. "Mommy, which mom is your real mom? Nanny or Grammie?" He was referring to my original mother and my adoptive mother. My thoughts collided and jumbled at once. I had no idea where he had heard the iconic (to me) "real mom" phrase. I fervently try to teach my children that my mothers, and all the ways in which women mother, are valid and important. Maybe I just wasn't doing a good job.  Slow down, bring it back Amanda. This is not about you. "Buddy, can you tell me what you mean?" I finally managed. My children have never known what it is like to not have three sets of grandparents. "How did we get so lucky?" my son has said. I too have never known what life is like without three sets of grandparents: my mom's parents (who were happily married for a bazillion years) my dad's father and step-mother, and my dad's mother and step-father. I was in elementary school when my