The Declassified Adoptee

Guest Entry by Nathaniel Christopher Nathaniel, a photo from that summer Nathaniel is a foster alumni, the son of an adult adoptee, and a freelance journalist in Vancouver, British Colombia.  More of Nathaniel's work can be found at his website . .  Here is one last post for National Adoption Awareness Month. “Who was that couple who dropped you off?” asked an older girl sitting next to me on the swings at Franklyn Street Park in Nanaimo . “Uh…,well I live with them,” I respond, digging my feet into the gravel, desperate for a cushion of ambiguity.  “Are they your parents, or what?” “No, they're my foster parents,” I said, tightly grabbing the chain. I wished they were my real parents. They were young and had ambition for their future. I saw them going places and desperately wanted a place in that future, but every so often someone reminded me it was all a façade. It only took one question to blow the fantasy. “Why are you in foster ...

Lina Eve From the 1960's-1980's in Australia, over 80,000 mothers lost their babies to adoption during an era of forced and coerced adoptions.  Lina Eve was one of these women.  She expresses her thoughts and emotions on this experience through the song and video (below) as well as through other artistic media.  You can check more of her artwork out at www.linaeve.com .   "Clayton's Mother" Lina Eve, mixed medium on board "Loss" from the "Bad Girl" series, Lina Eve Artwork and video/song copyright Lina Eve.  Used on this blog with permission.

Guest Entry by Shannon LC Cate Shannon LC Cate is a lesbian housewife and write-from home adoptive mother to two beautiful girls. She blogs about her life at Peter’s Cross Station and about writing at Muse of Fire . Amanda asked.... There have been a few times lately where I have seen/read adoption discussed in relation to gay and lesbian rights where it is almost framed as homophobic for the original (biological) male and female parents to be viewed as important to the adoptee. Someone might point out that a loving parent (or parents) is what a child needs, regardless of the gender of the parent(s). I would agree. However, the assumption that valuing original parents is about saying the nurturing parents, in this case, gay or lesbian parents, are not adequate or capable parents is perhaps another instance where Adoptee Rights may be misunderstood. I decided to ask Shannon her thoughts on this topic. What would you say to someone who feels that placing importance on the bi...

Guest Entry by: Nathaniel Christopher Nathaniel is a foster alumni, the son of an adult adoptee, and a freelance journalist in Vancouver, British Colombia.  More of Nathaniel's work can be found at his website .  Nathaniel agreed to have his piece, Queer in Care, published on my blog for National Adoption Awareness Month.  This piece was originally published at Xtra! on December 8, 2005. I hear a voice calling me from upstairs. "Nathaniel, we'd like to talk to you." I have been dreading this moment. I make my way through the cluttered front hallway and creep up the stairs. I enter the kitchen utterly terrified of what seems like impending doom. My heart begins to pound and my knees shake uncontrollably. An eerie calm fills the normally busy, loud foster home where I live. My foster parents are standing pensively in the kitchen. Although it is well into the evening they have not changed from their stuffy work uniforms to their usually comfortab...

Today is my a-grandmother's 80th birthday (my a-mom's mom).  My mom and some other family members coordinated a huge get-together catered by a hotel where we all stayed yesterday.  By "we all" I mean my grandmother's three kids and spouses, all of their kids and their kids' kids (except for one granddaughter and great-granddaughter who were unable to attend) and some cousins.  My a-dad's brother and his wife, my aunt, were there too as they are friends of the family.  My family was last to arrive at the party; my husband was being super, firefighter, hero man out saving the day somewhere and we left later than we intended to. Here I stood at this party, an adult with a family of my own who had done some serious work on figuring out who I am.  I also did some serious work embracing that identity.  I looked around, comparing faces, as I have grown so used to doing. My cousin J and my a-mom look a lot alike.  They have about the same skin tone, the ...

My husband pulled the car over so that I could throw-up along side the road. "Why in the world did you stop the car in front of someones driveway?"  I demanded to know though I was in no shape to really be preoccupied with such a question. "I don't know" he replied, realizing there was no right answer to my question. I closed the door to the car and we continued on the path to his mother's house to drop our son off for the night.  I was sick, I was nauseous: I was in labor. ------ After the birth of my first child I accepted the possibility that I might not ever be pregnant again due to fertility troubles.  16 months later, another pregnancy test came back positive; a pregnancy that I lost shortly after completing my seventh week. I accepted this loss, but my adoptive mother was very upset. She told me that I would be sad each year on my would-have-been due date.  I never knew that she had been sad each year on her would-have-been ...

I watched my husband transform our home office from a fire engine red, selected by the previous owner, to a soft yellow.  I thought a mellow color would provide a peaceful environment for my crafts and other projects. I hate painting; he doesn't even ask me to do it anymore because I make a mess and complain the whole time. At this point, he was bored. "Let's go get wings and drinks," he suggested. "Ok," I said, as I slid down from my perch on our over sized desk where I was dutifully overseeing the painting.  Gotta go be responsible first .  Due to my PCOS, we had been trying to conceive for 18 months with no luck.  I would take a pregnancy test before going out for sips of my favorite wine, just in case.  Each negative test was a reminder, no biological relatives for you--not ancestors, not descendants. Imagine my shock then when; Positive. I checked the pictures on the box three times to make sure I read correctly.  I use...

Brigid at Feministe wants to know if adoption is a feminist issue.  Brigid asks: How can or should we view adoption as a feminist issue? As a class, race, or disability issue? Whose rights stand to be compromised when adoption is or is not an available option? Does every child have a right to be raised by the people whose genetic material helped create them? Does every genetic parent have a right to raise their genetic children? Do people who are unable (though biology or circumstance), or do not desire, to conceive children have a right to raise children? If you believe adoption is problematic, what circumstances would make it less so? Yes, adoption is a feminist issue. Its structure of power regards one mother as being less worthy to parent than another because of her marital status or her income. Unmarried, pregnant women in the 50′s-70′s were scolded and ushered into maternity homes where their babies were taken from them. See “Wake up Little Susie” by Ricki Solinger...

Mia Severson "Photography is my main artistic love but I also enjoy many other forms of artistic expression including painting, sculpting and writing. I blogged for many years (Mia's Saving Grace) about my adoption experience and that was instrumental in my ability to maneuver through the rough waters of searching for my roots. Had it not been for that blog and all of the wonderful friends I met along the way I don't think I would have survived that period of search, failed reunion and self exploration regarding what it truly means to be adopted. I was born and raised in the closed record state of Colorado and currently live in the mountains of Central Pennsylvania. Also a closed record state. I am blessed to share life with my amazing son Joshuah and my three beautiful daughters; Sophia, Hannah and Isabella. All of my children have followed in my footsteps and have a deep appreciation for art which makes me very happy!" Mia's Links: h...

By Guest Blogger: Julie, iAdoptee Julie is an adult adoptee who was born, adopted and raised in a closed-record state in the northeast United States. She was placed with her adoptive family as an infant through a domestic, agency-facilitated adoption in the early 1970s and has been in reunion with her paternal and maternal natural families since 1998. In addition to blogging about the issues facing adult adoptees, Julie works as a marketing copywriter and enjoys reading, practicing yoga and spending time with her husband and children. You can learn more about Julie's adoption experience and the importance of the bagel & coffee image by visiting her personal blog, iAdoptee .  I asked Julie to share something with us about her natural father, in honor of Father's Day. My natural dad would be the first to tell you that he suffered a primal wound from losing his only child to the adoption system. He did not consent to my adoption. He wanted to marry my mother...

  My youngest met his grammy (my first mother) for the first time today!

  This article has been read as testimony in Adoptee Rights hearings and has been widely republished, including appearing in a recent adoption policy anthology alongside essays from the National Council for Adoption and the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute. "Why would they lie?"  I thought to myself when I first saw my amended birth certificate.  I was 11 or 12 and it was out on the kitchen counter for some reason I don't recall.  I was alone in the room at the time, wondering if I was allowed to look at the document.  I didn't know my first mother's name, no one had ever told me before.  So I wondered, am I allowed to know?  Feeling very brave and rebellious, I took a peek only to be taken aback that it did not contain my first mother's name at all.  There it was, "certificate of live birth" from the state of Tennessee with my birth date, my name, my place of birth....yet my adoptive parents were listed in place...

Kate Dahlquist "I'm a freelance artist (photography, art, & writing) who is currently living in the lovely state of NC with my husband and our two boys. I have many connections to adoptoland including being the sister of an adopted brother from Vietnam, mother of two children lost to "open" adoption, and a former NC GAL (5+ years of service and I'm still in touch with several of my former clients). Adoptee rights, family preservation are two subjects that are near and dear to my heart and I currently volunteer for several organizations which support these causes." Collages "Piece of my Heart," 2008   &   "Silent Heart," 2008 "Before you Sign," 2009   &   "After you Sign," 2009 "Every Night," 2009   &   "Amerikan Justice," 2009 About the Collages: "1, 2 & 5 A reflection of my feelings about my adoption experience. 3 & 4 How I feel I ...